Now settle down.

Dear The Internet,

As D'humphrey has tactlessly pointed out, we have been sullenly incommunicative with you these past few months. We have seen some of you in human form during our RL appearances. But nothing feels as truly intimate as our kind of communiqué - this faceless, fleshless form. Or facebook.

As the Filthy Turk (or her monkey) has pointed out, we are indeed selling tickets at ZOMG prices for the next few days. A gratifying mahoosive number of folk attended Preview One tonight, walking out shaking the lint from their hair and, hopefully, with giggle implanted deep inside. Like a maggot.

As David has not pointed out, we are inventing a card game. So far we know that you will definitely be able to make the opponent's Queen barren with a monkey. Word.

And now, to bathe.

Yours Afringedly,

Thomas Tuck, esq.